A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
