I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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