uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I didn't shave. On purpose
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
