I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
