Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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