you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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