if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize