I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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