It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Randomize
