I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
