i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I could fuck to npr.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
