i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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