I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
