remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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