its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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