sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
