I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I don't deserve a penis
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
