I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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