The maid of honor just puked.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
