If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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