what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
