and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
