I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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