drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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