the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
