He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
