How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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