Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize