Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
