Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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