Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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