This girl is more easily done than said...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
