Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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