Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
