If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
