therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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