Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
