my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
