I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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