whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
