i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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