Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
