she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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