i think my mom watched the whole time
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
