**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
420 ftw
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
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in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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