im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
