her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
