Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
