just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i came on her dog
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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