Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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