It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize