I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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