Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We had sex on a dog bed..
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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