i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
