Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
no more duck duck goose at the bar
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
