I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
