There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
