I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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