i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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